I’ve always been an all-or-nothing type of person. Moderation is hard. I can’t half-ass anything. I’m either all in, or all out.
Recently I’ve been re-evaluating the people I surround myself with. I’ve always had a lot of friends coming in and out of my life. Some have stuck around in the long-term, and some have not. Due to my all-or-nothing mindset, I’ve let many people out of my life. As I get older, I realize the importance of quality. If my relationships are not conducive to improving my life, or making me feel good, I let them go. Like I said, I can’t half-ass it. Especially with relationships.
We have all heard the saying, “quality over quantity.” The idea behind this, is that it is better to have less friends that are of good quality, rather than many friends (regardless of quality). This truth has never been so evident for me, as it is now.
Now, no one is perfect. Everyone has their flaws. A good relationship forgives these flaws with acceptance. Yet some things are unforgivable.
People say, “keep that friend around for what you do enjoy him or her for.” For example, if you and a friend with have a similar interest, like watching movies together, then keep that friend to fulfill your movie adventures. But this concept is hard for me to grasp. If I can’t fully, 100%, wholeheartedly trust and value a friend, why would I want anything to do with him or her? I’d rather be alone. I’d rather not bother. I’d rather not waste my time.
Another concept you realize as you age, is the value of time. Time is the most expensive currency; you can never get it back. People value money or materials. I value you my time. Because it is limited. And you can never get more of it. Plus, your time here on earth is not guaranteed. It can all end in a moment’s time. And that moment is not pre-defined.
This post isn’t going to end with some magical epiphany or realization.
This post is based on where my mind is churning, my heart is aching, and my soul swelling.
I can say that I am feeling sad and lost. But I can also say I’m grateful for the realization. Grateful for the growth and new understanding. Grateful for knowing the value of quality and time. So here I am, trying to balance these ideas, teetering on the very concept that it can all end by the time I take my next breath. But for the time I do have, I am going to choose a positive outlook. Choose to make the best of what I do have. And choose to use every ounce of my energy to surround myself with those that matter and those that are eternally good.