When is it too late to change?
Someone recently confided in me and told me she was unsure of what to do. She is having relationship problems with someone she has been involved with for ten years now. She has been having the same problems and ultimately is not completely satisfied with what she is getting out of it all. It is boring and monotonous, a way of life that I personally will never settle for.
“But we have been together for so long…there is so much history.”
So what. If you aren’t happy, especially after ten years, why spend another ten years continuing such miseries? I am empathetic of wanting to resist change; the familiarity and sense of comfort we develop with someone or something feels good. Disrupting the cycle of what we know is challenging but ultimately tests ones’ strength. We all know the theory, “survival of the fittest.” Those that can adapt to the ever-changing circumstances we experience in life, are the strongest. So if you are leading a life full of habituation, and are not fully satisfied, change! Embrace the change and don’t be afraid of it! Because once you do, you will find yourself happier and stronger. Who wouldn’t want that?
Speaking of change…
I recently quit a job that I loved. Keyword: loveD (past tense). I realized that my boss and I did not completely see eye-to-eye on some things. These things were uncompromisable for the way I work, my goals, and reasoning for obtaining such a job. I want to advance in my career in Nutrition, learn as much as possible, and work to ultimately help others accomplish their health-related goals. I felt that the job I recently resigned from prohibited me from ultimately progressing. The established methods and the system of how the institution was run, hindered me from doing the best I could for my clients. Furthermore, I did not feel that I was obtaining the respect that I know I deserve. I have too much integrity to submit myself to such abuse, so I left–just like that.
It has only been a few days thus far, but I already feel amazing; I have my priorities in line, I know what I want, and am exposing myself to bigger and better opportunities that will set me up for success.
No job or thing defines you and/or your intentions. They are only accessories that (should) help you reach your ultimate self. You define you. Be in control of your actions and reactions.
So how do my experiences relate to you? How can you use my insights to better your own life?
Let’s go through the process together:
1. Realize your priorities. Make a list of what is important to you, what makes you happy, and one of your short-term goals. This should be a short list- only one or two items for each prompt listed above.
2. Evaluate your life. Make a short list of things you don’t like about your life. Your job? The way someone makes you feel? An aspect you dislike about yourself? This short list should include things that are not permanent. You can change them. And if you cannot change them at this point in time, you can change your perspective on them and the attitudes you have toward these components. You can change the way you react.
3. Prepare for change. Compare and contrast the two lists you made (in points 1 and 2). How do they overlap? How do they not? Can you find a relationship between the things that you’ve listed? I’m sure you already know what and how to change your life. Take the step and do not resist change!
4. Set a goal. How can you improve yourself? Set a short-term goal to reach success in changing your behaviors and reactions. These may be so small– maybe just the way you react to something that doesn’t go your way. Just take a breath. Re-focus. And react accordingly.
5. Work at it and don’t give up. Changing something about yourself is not easy. Evolution is a process, not immediate. But you must start somewhere if you want to see transformation.
Obviously these instructions may vary depending on your individual circumstances. If you need further guidance, I would be happy to help you. Feel free to get in touch with me!
And back to the initial question, prompting this post… When is it too late to change?
The answer should be obvious. It is never too late. In order to induce change, start RIGHT NOW. If you don’t take the necessary steps to improve your life, don’t expect anything to be different. Set yourself up to succeed. Failing to plan is planning to fail.
Written: January 13 2014